Only Eight Weeks of Chemotherapy & Radiation Therapy Left

Daily Quote:  “Happiness is different from pleasure. Happiness has something to do with struggling and enduring and accomplishing.”  --George Sheenan

My cancer fight is the biggest challenge I've ever had to face, I can't say that I'm happy with my struggling and enduring cancer, but my cancer fight is making me more disciplined in living a more cleaner lifestyle and a deeper appreciation for my family and friends.  Undoubtedly, once I'm in remission, I'll be a very happy camper and ready for an easier challenge!

I was pretty depressed last weekend as I couldn't play online chess nor visit my favorite running sites as my home computer, which was twelve years old burnt out last Friday.  I was using online chess as an escape from the stress of cancer and not being able to run, the loss of the computer gave me a very sinking feeling as we really could not afford fixing the computer.

Our friend from Arizona, Brenda Boswell, just happened to be visiting Vegas this weekend and helped Suzie with looking for a new computer and setting it up...imagine my surprise when I came home early Monday morning and on my desk is a brand new working computer!!  My wife bought a "Lenovo" computer that was a steal for $250.00!  She knows how important the computer is for me and bought a new one without my consultation...as she knew I would have sacrificed the computer as to keep paying my medical bills...Suzie Robison you are so caring and loving, what would I do without you?!?  Today was my first opportunity using our new toy...it's so fast, quiet, and has the new Windows program too!  I'm going to have to spend more time on learning all the new bells & whistles this computer can accomplish.



Damage report: My inside throat is very sore, hurts even when I swallow, but now the outside of my throat hurts too...my whole neck, front and back is bright red like I've been sitting under a heat lamp for eight hours, plus the radiation has burnt off small lumps of my beard, which gives me that patchy grizzly look. I'm not suppose to use a razor at this time as shaving irritates the skin, which makes radiation on the neck more irritating. I now have six heat blisters on my neck skin, which is normal and Dr. Treadwell says that the blisters will get worse.  Last week I stated that my beard has gone totally gray, this week my head has followed suit and has gone gray...at least my hair hasn't gone bald, yet!!

I can still eat soft foods and still fighting against the idea of actually using my feeding tube, but may have to surrender if my body weight continues to drop...I'm now 164.7 pounds on a six foot frame. Note: my first six weeks of therapy is done on my neck, throat and tongue, the next six weeks of therapy will be on my right chest...I'm hoping that once the first six weeks are done with my throat, that I may not need the feeding tube, therefore, if I can just complete the next two weeks of radiation on my tongue, throat and neck, might give my swallowing a chance when the radiation therapy shift goes to my right chest.  I must keep my nutrition up and stay focus on eating more quality calories whether or not I'm hungry.

Last week I decided I must do some form of easy exercising as I can tell my large weight loss can be seen with my legs and arms losing muscle tone.  I've been walking for thirty minutes every morning and after work I have a small dumbbell workout.  It's better than nothing, but feels so insufficient to me, I must focus that I only have eight weeks left and than I can return to running...of course with the mantra, "baby steps--baby steps!"